When you’re caught between a rock and an even bigger rock, I’m the one you call. Locked yourself out of your car? I’ll get you in. Been caught embezzling? I’ll find you a fall guy. Popped off the wrong guy? Now, I can’t bring them back but I’ll make the body disappear.
No, put that away, I don’t want your fucking money, money is just a means to an end. I trade in favors.
When I help you cover your sorry ass, you owe me. The size of the favor depends on your predicament. One day, you might be mowing your lawn, are on your way to the dentist, or are otherwise frolicking through your mundane existence, I’ll emerge to cash in that favor. And you will abide because you know better.
You’ll hold on to that briefcase I hand you; take in that emaciated soul and treat them as one of your own; or use your influence and standing to make things happen how I need them to happen. If you play your part, I go away. If you don’t— ah, that’s a different conversation.
I’ve been told I drive a devil’s bargain. That always makes me smile. You see, even the devil needs my help sometimes and it don’t come cheap.